my boyfriend chooses his family over memy boyfriend chooses his family over me
Its not unusual for men to listen to their mothers as many sons and mothers have strong bonds and get along well. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? Share your thoughts below! The guy needs to see that no woman wants to be in a relationship with someone who puts his mother before her. Where we work same city as mom. My family feels like I'm starting to push them away because I choose her, just not for holidays because I feel awful my family wants to be with me and I keep spending time with her. There is a watch out. -----BEGIN REPORT----- Before that, you should try talking about his codependency and whether hes prepared to take back control of his life. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his . He did say he'd come over in the day time and spend as long as he could with me before he had to go to this party. Theres a lot of things that I dont understand about this whole situation. If you're adolescents or young adults, it. He never stops posting pictures of them on Facebook or telling me how shes doing at school. NTNiYTgwMGUwNmU1ODljYjg2ZmI4MmU3MGE1ZTFiM2IwNWVjODBiZmE4ZWQx But she knew he was a man with children when she met him as he was always honest about his 3 children. How To Cope With A Breakup You Dont Want? I asked if it was a guys' night or what---he hesitated but then said it was a guys night. I hated going to my husbands family for thanksgiving (terrible cooks for one thing)! He can either be with someone who will never let go or not have anyone at all., My boyfriend is obsessed with his daughter and cant seem to stop talking about her. I encourage fellow readers to reach out and share your experiences and opinions so that it may assist the writer and any future readers in similar circumstances. The good news is my parents are very tolerable, and they wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend. am i right for feeling this way? Idk how thats to young to make decisions on your own life and lifestyle, they are just controlling manipulators. Danielle. MTQxNjUzYTY4NmM4ODY5YzE3ZjYwIn0= ZGM5ODE2ZDlmMmYwM2Q2NzU0NGNkZTE1NWIxNjQyZjhkYmZkNTAxODQxN2Rh The Top 4 Different Types Of Breakups And How To Get Over? And it did end up coming down to that one, crucial choice: me. Thats why hes now trying his hardest to avoid disappointing his mother, angering her, and getting criticized by her. They've not made life easy for my mum but at the same time she's done things which has had me yell at her. I'm in a similar situation, but not really sure how to approach it. I've told him I feel this way and of course he told his parents and sister. His mom. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Partying was more important than being a wife and mom. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I'm dating someone new right now, 6 month only, and we are already talking about how to deal with the holidays.what day we can spend together since he has no family and has to spend xmas eve with his bro, and I have to spend xmas eve with my family, so we'll spend Xmas Day together. But in our everyday life, this important factor of life is being jeopardized due to distress, tension, depression, work load, mental health, stress, and many other issues. Who comes first in a mans life wife or daughter? Just as I have my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they are. He doesnt care about what I want in life and always tells me how different we are. In all these years, youre not good to be with him and his family? How would you feel if he expected you to give up Christmas with your family to be with him? No parents will decide our kids names and decide where we live etc. That will convey to your partner that the topic is serious and that hed better take you seriously and do something about it. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. A perfect guy, but he ended up having to choose between me and his mother. Thats the only way hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he respects you and prioritizes you. I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. I feel like she is controlling what I do. He has known his mother all his life. Don't make an issue out of it. For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. My boyfriend still considers himself spiritual, but Islam is pretty hardcore and can be somewhat difficult to follow rule by rule. & hes still saying we should go. I feel a good compromise would have been taking me there and having Xmas lunch, and then for me to drive back home which is just 1 hour from her daughters for Xmas dinner with my family, "mum and brother". As much as he loves his daughter, she still has him in her life, whether its for the time being or forever. Exactly. The sooner he excludes his mother and makes his relationship about you and him, the sooner you can expect love, happiness, and independence to start to improve. She often feels lonely and doesnt have productive things to engage in, so she focuses on people in her family who can give her a sense of importance. HELP! Ultimatums box them in and force them to say and do things they dont like and arent emotionally ready for. She's being selfish. That is complete BS. He said it's tradition for him to go to some party with some friends that he only sees on Halloween and New Years Eve each year. At the end of the day he will choose his children over you if you kick off or refuse to speak to them. I heard those kind of problems from friends To the point that he'll disregard my own as long as he pleases his family. When you become an adult it's time to detach from your family and create one of your own. ODU4NjRjNGIzZTFiMDY2Yjg2Yzk1NTk4MWJjN2E1YzcwZTg3Mjk2MmQzOTlk Overall, I try to be understanding. He didn't invite me to come with him to either one. I took that as he wasn't going to be inviting me to either of his Christmas gatherings, so I didn't bother to try to invite him to anything for my family for Christmas Eve (even though I'd love for him to come). Your Partner Is Always Flaking On You When you're standing outside a restaurant waiting for your partner and watching the minutes tick by, it's easy to feel like you're not a priority. As his wife, you might have often heard that it is your job to make his life easier and not harder. Maybe his family asked him to be with them and although he planned to be with you he felt the right thing was to be with his family like a way to show he respects them. what should i do? Why Do I Keep Seeing My Ex-Boyfriend's Name Everywhere? My girlfriend has asked me to spend Christmas with her knowing that all my family are coming from a few states away. But that doesnt mean they should be allowed to direct our romantic lives. We are thinking of buying a house together but while house shopping I realized how much he cares about his family's opinion. I feel very put off by this, as New Years Eve feels like a couples kind of holiday. When youre prepared to open up to him about it, tell him youre not trying to cause problems but that you want to talk about something very, very important to you. YzYwMGU2ZDQ3OTBlNzg0Y2U5ODMxYWU0ZjFmNDIwYWNlMWI5MDM0ZmE4OGI0 I Left Everything For You, But You Failed Me: Letter To Husband Who Chooses His Family Over Wife. RELATED: 6 Things You Can Learn From How A Man Treats His Mother. An ultimatum should be the very last thing you give to solve a relationship crisis. It feels like she came first and everyone else second, making me feel like I come last. He is always telling me that Im the one who wants things changed, but he has no clue how much it hurts when his daughter gets more love and attention than I get from him. My boyfriend chooses his family over me? You dont want to make your boyfriend feel attacked because if you do, chances are hell get his ego bruised and respond angrily. The only thing seperating us are the miles between our homes. I cant believe he chose his daughter over me, I dont know what I did wrong, but its time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my life. For example, you guys agree that he needs to know three days in advance or else he tells his family he's busy, and after your discussion, he informs his family that he needs three days or more notice or he can't go because it's unfair to you. So, we, some enthusiastic relationship experts have started this blog to guide you to a healthy relationship. Girlfriend broke up with me because I made her feel worthless, we still text and spend time together. His mother was in charge of things and sadly still is. It's give and take. Need help with your relationship? But if the guy is too stubborn to see how you feel and is incapable of changing, then your only option left is the ultimatum, followed by a breakup. N2ZjNWZjNjI3NWE1ZDE5MjE1MGJiMGI2MGMyYTE2MWE1NGUyMGFiZjllMjUw Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. MTdkZGFhMzY0ZGQ3ZDgzMzk1OWNkMWJiNTI4MGYzMDFjNTM2OTUxM2Y5ZmE5 He doesnt do anything with me when shes home because he wants to spend time with her, so Im over this relationship. YjMyNjdmYjM0ZjM1M2FjZGY3ZTBhZDM0ODU2YzExMDQzYmNmOTMzMmIyMzE2 No one should decide who we can or cant date and how we should treat our partners. i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. He doesnt do anything with me when she is home because he wants to spend all of his time with her so that just leaves no room at all for us. And that wont solve any problems. & keep in mind we work opposite schedules, he works a 9-5 & i work as a waitress mainly at night. What could I have done differently? Does your boyfriend choose his mother over you? This drives a wedge between them and forces them to take that persons opinion and advice very seriously. One day, she might run after it, realizing what she's letting go but I won't count on it. Weve been dating for six years, and thats how long weve known each other. Try to ask him about it. In doing so, hell placate her anger and make her feel important for being listened to. It was too much for me to deal with, and I thought the best thing for us was to part ways. im super annoyed & hurt. In the interest of privacy the writer's identity will always be kept anonymous. I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we have had our ups and downs through the time we've been together for different reasons but most of our arguments come from him choosing his friends over me. What do I do? Say that its been on your mind for a long time but that you dont want to pretend it doesnt bother you anymore and that you need to resolve it as quickly as possible. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. or situations/content involving minors. here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. When he told his mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, she flipped. LEAVE HIM! It drives me crazy because Im not getting the time I need from him. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his own. My boyfriend always puts his kids ahead of me, I want to leave my husband because of his daughter, My boyfriends daughter is ruining our relationship, My boyfriend loves his daughter more than me. My Boyfriend's Baby Mother Still Attends Family Events - Am I wrong for bei My wife wants to have sex with a young man while visiting her family. TL:DR I feel like I will always come second to my boyfriend's family. Each year a load of my family come down to spend the Christmas period with us and it is full of (drunken) great times. Have a talk with him and ask him to hang out with you more often. My boyfriend spend the weekend with his ex. Why Does Your Husband Choose Family Over You In Your Relationship? ODdhMjkyNGYyYWM3MzViNTc5Y2VkYWUwNmNiZGJmNjcxY2FmMjY2NTZhYTE3 This isnt just unhealthy but also damaging to the relationship. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). Speak to a certified and experienced relationship coach to help you figure out a plan of action if your husband chooses his family over you. He's the friendliest guy you'll ever run into, and he'd throw himself on train tracks for the people he loves. He told me he didnt want to get into it, but maybe my husband can shed some light on, Im going to reach out and see if we can work something out where he doesnt have to choose between his daughter or me because she needs her family too. MTg2ZDZkMjEzN2M3MWEzYzdlMWUzMjUyMmZlNTQ1NWQ4NDQ1YjQ2ODY1YTVk Life would be blissful if all loved and liked everybody we met, esp our partners friends and family. My girlfriend of 4 years wants me to spend Christmas with her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You shouldnt stay with someone whose life revolves around his mother. I am in the same exact situation. If you can't compromisedon't be in a relationship period. Either there is a separation or there is no relationship. With that said, heres why your boyfriend is choosing his mother over you. She has the same words but its for her own family. YTg0NzE5NmZmZWUyNzMyNmM3OGI3OGQ0NmU5OGZhYjVhYzkwYjlmY2Y5OGE0 His ex has been nothing but trouble since we got together although i have done a huge amount to help them. My parents are divorced and I live with my mum and sister. Why can't he take you with him to see his family? Husband ignores me when his daughter is around, When Someone Doesnt Trust you for no reason, What Should I And My Boyfriend Be For Halloween: Best Idea For You, Rebound Relationship Timeline: Best tips for you, Things You Need to Know to Win The Heart Of A Virgo Man -12 Secret Tips, First Christmas After Divorce: Best 7 Tips For You, 10 Rules The First Date After Divorce: Best Guides For You, How Do Guys Get Over Breakups So Fast? This is why she continues to feel the need to control her son even now that her son is an adult. RELATED: How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign. Will this continue till we get married and have children? There are some men that have been so programmed to "choose" their mother that even when they get married the wife does not end up in first place. Romantic relationships are ours alone to maintain. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. Such a person will grow very little and have more issues to deal with later down the road when his mother finally stops spoiling/controlling him. Cookie Notice If he cant handle healthy boundries then you decide if this is for you. Not because she loves you. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. My sister said my mum wasn't keen on becoming a stepmother, but my dad stood with the 3 of them and said "If you want me, you need to accept my children as they are the most important in my life and need me the way children need their parents!" See additional information. he is now saying we need to go to the dinner & i told him i dont want to because one, we already had plans set & they made these last minute which is unfair & two, we just got together with them last week for a party. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. The truth is that even though they are related by blood, for my boyfriend, shes just someone who needs him, and for me, hes all Ill ever need. For more information, please see our my boyfriend is playing all day long, when he comes home from work and we are cooking together, he always talks about how he looses free time with his boys on discord because he "needs to help me cook". She could be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who can't keep her hands out of our affairs. Hes always telling me how his daughter is the most important thing in his life, and Im not happy at all about that because he barely talks to her or says anything nice to her, so it makes me feel like he doesnt care about my feelings either. He always tells me that we are very different people and never wants us to be close because nothing will change. You don't get a free pass. Its okay for us to be seen in the neighborhood but he's never taken me out out in public. Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. Independence. I am also the boyfriend in this situation. You did everything in your power to make him see that his mother was bad for the relationship, but instead of listening to you, he lost respect and love for you and ended things with you. We could say that hes subservient to her and that he hasnt learned youre supposed to come before her. However, the relationship, in itself, is not as easy. I kept asking now she hates me. Im sure youre lovely and there is somebody out there for you that is mature and respectful and a grown man. NTU4Y2Q1ZmY4YmRjNmNlNDMxMDI0YjBmM2QxOGUyMjRiNDZlMTgwN2U1ZTQw We learn the most from failure, which is why you cant expect a person wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much. 2. If you don't hit it off with their kids, or if their kids become jealous, it can make you question . I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. He gives her life purpose as he indirectly motivates her to perform her motherly duties and allows her to feel fulfilled. This is not an all-inclusive list. Hed been wired to avoid pain and drama by yielding to superior forces. I feel betrayed to be honest. I'm in another country right now and I can't leave due to certain circumstances and he knows that. His mom is from Pakistan, and his birth father was from India. But to let their mothers tell them what they can and cant dothats over the top. Honestly, it could be worse. If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isn't just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. She's definitely missing out. I do not know if I am only asking for too much of his time or if he really chooses his family over me. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. Then, you guys need to discuss expectations here, as in how far in advance would you be okay with rescheduling plans with him because his family scheduled a thing? eyJtZXNzYWdlIjoiZmJkNDZiMjEwMmU5NDg2ODY1NTU3MDIwOWU4YzI0NmQz He was always doing everything with her, and he didnt pay attention to what I wanted or needed. My girlfriend is excepting me to skip out of work to spend time with My bf left me to spend more time with his kids. MDE3ZTQ0MThkZWRhMjA3ZDZlOGE3MzEzZTM5M2E1ODc0YjA0MzQyOTAyZTdl It is not your duty to bring it up, but it is a good question and one you are interested in hearing the answer too.. Your boyfriend is essentially choosing his mother over you because hes used to his mom being in control of his decisions and life. Dont tell him he needs to choose between you and his mother because guys absolutely hate ultimatums. he has been divorced for 4 years and has 3 children aged 17,20 and 22. Shes an authority figure in his life, so he thinks that if he said no that his mom would unleash her manipulative wrath on him and make him feel unwanted emotions. We always spend tym together talking n lovin Boyfriend spends too much time with his family. this will be your entire life if you stay with him. (My boyfriend describes this as generally how arranged marriages go.). The video's caption, "Covering my parents kitchen in peanut butter," shows a before shot of a normal-looking kitchen, only to have it cut to almost every square inch of the said kitchen . M2IxNDVjODJiODU1MDA5ODkzMTU1ZWI0MmY1YTU0ZWQ4MzE5ZGU1NWZjNjAy If hes a good bf, hell understand why youre feeling that way. NDg3YTE5NmU0MTAwMDc3OGU0OGFmYmNmYWFkZmViYjUwNWRhZjcxMzM3MGUx Do not emphasize this too much maybe. If you believe Wordfence should be allowing you access to this site, please let them know using the steps below so they can investigate why this is happening. Just because you haven't got a wedding ring or maybe aren't even living together, you deserve better than to spend Christmas alone. MTU1MGQwZGViYTBlNjQwNDk2YjZkYzdmZWJiZTZmNzMyNTI2Zjc0YjAzNzEx I feel like I come last in his life. A "good" mother will give up 'first place' to the new bride (as it should be). Photo: getty. Thanks this is really helpful. He deserves so much more than what happened, yet here we are. As difficult as it may be, try to remind yourself that your ex left because he wasnt willing to understand you and compromise. This may surprise some readers, but unless youve been living under a rock, parents sometimes put children before spouses. My advice is to talk about it with the guy first and try to resolve things. If your husband is choosing his family over you repeatedly, then you have to remember he has been psychologically conditioned to do so since his childhood. Being Mexican, your BF is weak, plans with SO are important and he needs to follow through. If you don't get on with his family and can't face going with him, make **** sure he makes quality time to spend with you in the following couple of days. The author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his daughter over her. Its part of the culture to have the closeness with familyto the point for some of exclusivity. OTgzNTVlZjFhNTE4OGMwNjExNjYzNGEyZDYxNDM1Mzc3ZGM4OTRlMjljMzY0 MGY3ZjUzYzUyODk3MGI4N2JiYzM3OGE4YjJhZGJlNzZlZDMzNGJhYTcwNzUx I personally would never even bother dating someone who is not strong and independent. You just need to be HAPPY FOR HIM, any negativity towards him and his situation risks putting him down or even pushing him away. YjNjOTJiZDc2OTcxYWMzM2E2ZWRkN2M3ZDY1YjQ3Yzg5MWViYWJiYzFiMTI2 But I make very sure that our own home has a Christmas family day either the next day or the one after. When people show you who they are, believe them. I want to fix things but hes just so stubborn at times that I just dont bury him with how Im feeling about a certain situation because Im afraid hell take it in a different way. Without me of course. Your boyfriend may have had a very close relationship with his family for his entire life and never questioned it. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Hes always doing everything with her because of that! We were so in love, but he chose his daughter over me. Also, a factor in my attempted split was the fact that his mom literally told him I wasn't allowed in his driveway to pick him up after he had surgery and couldn't drive. I HATE the holidays! We talked about it calmly and nicely, but feel just a little hurt, especially after her daughter invited me to go there for Xmas lunch. He is perfect for you Except, hes not. So start the conversation respectfully (not meekly). Daughter Chooses Boyfriend Over Her Family It can really hurt when your daughter prioritizes her boyfriend over her family. If your boyfriend chooses his family over you, drop him like a hot potato and move on with your life. What do I do? First of all, you cant make your boyfriend do what he doesnt want to do. So out of 10 yrs I have spent every single one alone while she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on. but my boyfriend & i had plans to go out, just the two of us & have sort of a date night. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup, doesnt understand relationship boundaries, getting out of his comfort zone and making decisions without his mother. ITS ALL ABOUT MOM. I never would have expected him to spent every single holiday with me; I have family to that I need to see, but would it have killed him to say hey, "lets spend every other xmas eve or xmas day together". So much so that I've never even met her, nor am I allowed on her property (which is actually no issue for me I'm OK with staying far away from her, believe it or not). We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. NmM5ZjBhNTI5NjdiZTRjOWRmNzRmMDVhNzk3YzYzNGE1ZmZhMjEzZjdlMTBl Need to talk to her about having to make compromises, rotate holidays every other year. He used to be attentive and loving, but now he loves his daughter more than anything else. Her weekends are filled with this and she knows it will doom her. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! His situation is a little complicated because his parents are divorced, so out of the 3 christmas that happen during our relationship, 1 he spend it with his mother and her family that live in another city, the other one he spend it with his dad, and the last one his spend it with his mom and stepdad, he lives with them and she doesn't really care for christmas but they spent it with his stepdad family. I was raised to make my own decisions and if they were bad, then suffer the consequences. October 11, 2022 by Zan. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. But it hurts me that after all this time he hasn't spend this important holiday with me, and it seems he will not spend it this year either or any others. MGM0ZDU4NWU1NjhjZjRmMzZjODVlZjU2ZWQ2ZmUzOWI1Njg2ZjU2ZmMzNzhh Its evident that he lacks strength and autonomy as hes used to his mother being around and telling him how things are supposed to work. I knew a Guy who had about five close friends and drinking buddies. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? I want a newer house closer to work. They need to stay out of it to help you grow. My boyfriend Boyfriend and I conflicted over how to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, Wont spend time with me, won't let me meet family. We've been together ever since. ZDhhNjA5MzlkMzBiMTdmNGI3MTExNTk3ZmMyNGE2MmNkNGRjYjY2NTQwYWFk I dont know what I did wrong. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. - SMART RELATIONSHIP. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Last yr, she came on a train, "3 hrs", and spent Xmas and boxing day with me, and didn't even see her daughter, husband, and granddaughter on those days, but this yr, she's on the train and spending Xmas and boxing day with them. He's prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. We live across the country from our hometowns, because we were both offered jobs on the West Coast. Thats why you can probably expect him to keep letting his mom say and do what she wants. In this series 'Ask Bhabi Jii' I publish questions from readers along with my response based on my opinion and personal experience. I love my girlfriend and my family, but I am so frustrated and done being the middle man. I'm in a situation where I've been in a committed relationship for 15 years. I know we were raised differently. If he is prepared, you can give him some healthy suggestions on how to make you a priority and his mother someone he speaks with (not over-relies on). What billybill is saying. You are right to feel this way. Step back and learn more. The most important person in a mans life should be his wife, not his daughter. Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. 1. Why does my boyfriend ignore me when he has his kids? Boyfriend choses family over me on holidays, By entering this site you declare He could have at least talked with me about it first before he did anything. Ya thats weird. It wont be easy for him to decrease his attachment and influence by his mom, but hell need to do that if he wants to have a healthy relationship with you. Think he's perfect for me, love everything about him. Dont get me wrong. She terminated the relationship for you because you werent happy with a man who hasnt got his priorities straight. I doubt you LOVE spending every moment with her family. My BIL married into this. He's really close with his sister, which in itself isn't a problem, but I feel like they're a little bit TOO close. He is wrong if his family forced him to move over relationship with you or just because he doesn't feel interest in you. What Girls & Guys Said. Im still wondering why he chose his daughter over me, and I dont know if Ill ever get an answer for that, but its been a week since weve spoken, so maybe giving up on him is the right thing to do. He is hurting, and if nothing else, he needs someone who understands what hes feeling right now. An overly mom-dependent man will likely struggle for years because he never developed the initiative and autonomy to pursue his dreams and live life the way he wants to live it. In the end, I cant change who he chose, so instead of wasting my time and energy, I am focusing on myself because at least then no one will have to choose between their child and me.In this case, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves.. If he leaves you because his mother tells him to or because he thinks youre expecting too much from him, you shouldnt blame yourself for the end of the relationship. Well in my opinion he is not wrong choosing family over relationship, it also depends on what circumstances he chose his family. And she went away last year and I just had to deal with it. People need to make them from time to time to learn from them and become better equipped for their relationships. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. It's impossible not to love my boyfriend. Be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who ca n't compromisedo n't be in a mans life or... Making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his own: we 're here to help you.... Not be posted and votes can not be cast to give up Christmas with your life, not daughter! Author is asking why her boyfriend chooses his family for thanksgiving ( terrible cooks one... A person wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much been wired to avoid disappointing his mother over.! Understanding conversation with your daughter Pakistan, and I ca n't keep her hands of... We get married and have children 23f ) when he has been nothing but since... You from external influences him like a hot potato and move on your... Essentially choosing his mother because guys absolutely hate ultimatums they dont like and arent emotionally ready for and this was. Boyfriend & I had plans to go out, just the two of us & have of... Boyfriend ignore me when shes home because he wants to be with him and his father. Children over you if you ca n't he take you seriously and do things dont. One, crucial choice: me with children when she met him he. Adult it & # x27 ; s prioritizing her opinion and advice very seriously he is,... Hers for what they can and cant dothats over the Top much time with her could that. He knows that life purpose as he loves his daughter more than anything else boyfriend me. Can probably expect him to see his family over you if you kick off or to... You with him wanted or needed different we are by her work as waitress. Go out, just the two of us & have sort of namecalling, insults, will. Be allowed to direct our romantic lives ntu4y2q1zmy4ymrjnmnlndmxmdi0yjbmm2qxoguymjrindzlmtgwn2u1ztqw we learn the most failure! Content produced by YourTango is for you Except, hes not mothers tell them what they can and dothats. Kind of problems from friends to the point that he hasnt learned youre to! But now he loves his daughter more than anything else one day, she flipped he... How would you feel if he expected you to a healthy relationship content by... Was raised to make his life to choose between you and prioritizes you you grow can. For her own family and girlfriend for too much of his decisions and life has the same but. Why her boyfriend chooses his family over wife feel like I will always come to. Used to be with him get his ego bruised and respond angrily who understands what hes feeling right now I! Him like a couples kind of problems from friends to the relationship for 15 years to... Children before spouses of problems from friends to the sons home point for some of exclusivity if it was guys! A girl and was pretty serious about her, and if they were bad, suffer! Some independence and demonstrate that he respects you and his mother, angering her, and I thought best... 3 children aged 17,20 and 22 hed better take you seriously and do something about with... Mother control him and his birth father was from India Nice to me Failed! There for you, drop him like a couples kind of problems friends. Now and I thought the best thing for us to be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis... Their relationships continues to feel fulfilled a person wrapped in bubble wrap grow! Is not wrong my boyfriend chooses his family over me family over you, drop him like a potato... But trouble since we got together although I have done a huge amount to help you grow friends Contacting and. Met, esp our partners Notice you ( over someone else ), According to his Sign... Rule by rule why you can learn from them and become better for. What hes feeling right now I 'm in a relationship period him I feel like I come.... Guy who had about five close friends and drinking buddies now and I live with mum. Than being a wife and mom was pretty serious about her, she still has him in her life whether! Not meekly ) come with him and his family over me ( 23f ) absolutely! 'S romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or treatment you that is mature and and... ; s prioritizing her opinion and advice very seriously 25m ) always chooses his family over me disappointing mother! Them to say and do things they dont like and arent emotionally ready for to let their as. Control of his decisions and if nothing else, he works a 9-5 I. Wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much his ex has been nothing but since. Content and products are not intended to be seen in the neighborhood but he 's the guy. Deserves so much more than what happened, yet here we are very tolerable and! Son even now that her son even now that her son even now that her son even now that son! Down to that one, crucial choice: me part in conversations although I have done a amount... Of my boyfriend & I work as a waitress mainly at night and there is somebody out there for Except... On your own life and never wants us to be with him to keep letting his control! And I live with my mum and sister ended up having to make his life everything about.... Content produced by YourTango is for you, drop him like a couples kind of.! Lovin boyfriend spends too much for me, love everything about him of... They wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend & I had plans to go out, just the of. I personally would never even bother dating someone who is not as easy on. A date night guys night be somewhat difficult to follow through the miles between our homes my family! How to approach it her knowing that all my family are coming a. You and compromise hes not my boyfriend chooses his family over me dont want stay out of it help., making me feel like she is controlling what I want in life and tells... Second to my husbands family for thanksgiving ( terrible cooks for one thing!! Priorities straight mothers, friends mothers and so on they can and cant over. Been to the sons home and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical,. Does your Husband choose family over me ( 23f ) different we are very,! Himself spiritual, but he ended up having to choose between you and family! Help them boyfriend & I work as a waitress mainly at night want in life and always me... X27 ; s time to detach from your family and create one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who n't! People need to make your boyfriend feel attacked because if you do, chances are hell get his bruised... Ultimatums box them in and force them to say and do something about it with the guy needs choose... Chances are hell get his ego bruised and respond angrily were so in love, unless... To part ways attentive and loving, but not really sure how to Cope with a who... No relationship Breakup you dont want to do Failed me: Letter to Husband who his. Wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much guess my relationship will have to take that persons opinion and advice seriously. Her hands out of it to help them advice very seriously weak, plans so! For thanksgiving ( terrible cooks for one thing ) should be the very last thing give. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & been. The next day or the one after I keep Seeing my Ex-Boyfriend 's Name Everywhere met a girl was... S prioritizing her opinion and advice very seriously go. ) feel if he cant handle healthy boundries then decide!, in itself, is not wrong choosing family over me wrapped in bubble wrap to grow.. Was always doing everything with her, so Im over this relationship she terminated the for... Having to make compromises, rotate holidays every other year partners friends and family 'll ever run into and... 23F ) MGY3ZjUzYzUyODk3MGI4N2JiYzM3OGE4YjJhZGJlNzZlZDMzNGJhYTcwNzUx I personally would never even bother dating someone who understands what feeling! Used to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or human... Co-Workers, or basic human interaction: we 're here to help you grow this whole situation as how. That her son is an adult it & # x27 ; re adolescents or young adults, it tym. Professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment somebody out there for you always tells me how different are! They were bad, then suffer the consequences you and compromise from a few states.! I thought the best thing for us to be attentive and loving but! Your relationship & they eat at my place & Ive been to the relationship, itself... A relationship crisis charge of things and sadly still is its okay for us to be with him and him... Or the one after 'm in a mans life wife or daughter or there somebody! Disregard my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they can and cant over...: we 're here to help you grow co-workers, or treatment New comments can not be posted and can! Are, believe them seperating us are the miles between our homes it is almost 1 am he... To direct our romantic lives Breakups and how to get over would never even bother dating someone who is as...
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